Staff members at West Hills Middle School want students to be upstanders—to stand up, speak out and to intervene when they or someone else is being treated unkindly.

“Within our school, we've seen an increase in peer to peer altercations that would result in a discipline referral, and so that's something we want to be intentional about and try and intervene, because it's a huge factor with school climate,” WHMS school counselor Brian Behrmann said.

The counseling team tracks conflicts and discipline issues such as threat, intimidation, physical contact, physical attack and fighting. Then they plan interventions to reduce the number of occurrences.

Last month, they held Upstander Week, engaging students with daily messages and activities to teach them appropriate reactions to conflict and bullying. Behrmann said conflict is common because many students don’t know how to respond to, or how to work through, conflict in relationships.

“It's a development skill,” Behrmann said. “Sometimes—especially in middle school—you don't know exactly what to do in a situation. A lot of the fights stem from leaving relationships. Some of them escalate because they don't know how to de-escalate. It's just normal to them to think, ‘Oh, you do something bad to me, I'm doing something bad back.’”

Upstander Week activities encouraged students to think about what they can do or say in response to unkindness. Students’ ideas mostly aligned with school policy: tell them to stop, tell an adult, stand up for others, leave the situation. More creative students suggested specific responses such as “You’re not cool by being mean” and “Be nice for once!”

But some students went a step farther.

“A lot of them were very thoughtful in that they would provide comfort to those who had been either bullied or a target of unkindness,” Behrmann said.

Students shared how grateful they were when someone stood up for them during conflict.

“One time, one kid was just teasing a lot, and my friend stood up and just was like, ‘How about you pick on someone your own size?’ and stuff like that, and he stopped,” an eighth grade student said. “I felt protected.”

A ninth grader recalled a time when some classmates were being unkind and her friend told them to stop.

“It was sweet of her and nice to know someone was there for me,” she said.

The counseling department provided every teacher with a digital presentation on de-escalation skills which they can use throughout the year as a reminder for students. With this age group, it’s important to get in front of students often and reinforce the standards, because the impact is often temporary, Behrmann said.

“Our first day [of Upstander Week], there was an altercation in the lunch room, and I was like, ‘Come on, guys, this is what we're talking about,’” he said.

On the final day of Upstander Week, students were invited to take the Upstander pledge:

I will overcome the fear that prevents me from taking action to intervene.

I will speak out for others and hold my peers accountable.

I will stand up and embrace the responsibility for the well-being of those around me.

I will live with urgency and be a role model in fulfilling this commitment.